Less than two months postpartum, we began weekly dinner parties. My sisters were finally done with school and started full-time jobs. They were ready to move in with their respective partners, leaving us as empty nesters (minus the newborn).
The six, now seven of us, had grown close and wanted to make sure we made time for one another. One of my sisters had just attended another dinner party club and shared the idea with us. We could do that.
And so began our new tradition.
Finding Our New Normal Postpartum
I remember feeling isolated at times when I was pregnant. My back hurt after a while sitting at the dinner table, so while others lingered chit chatting I would make my way to the couch. If I were left alone long enough, I would probably fall asleep.
Sometimes I couldn’t stomach the smell of what had been made (looking at you, fried hot dogs post New Year’s party). Thankfully, pregnant women are given a bit more grace when they refuse to eat the frittata you worked so hard on.
As excited as I was about becoming a new parent, I was also very worried about losing the connection with my friends.
By two months, we were quite settled in our new routine. The baby blues were well behind me. I no longer woke up in a cold sweat, and the feeling in my hands had returned (thank you, carpal tunnel). We slept in slightly longer stretches. It felt like we were finally able to put our heads up.
And when we did, our friends and family greeted us. They had been there all along, but things felt a bit different. We were ready to be their friends again, not just new parents.
Hosting Through the Haze
Two weeks after our daughter was born, we hosted my husband’s family. His parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew and aunts and uncles. It was so nice to see everyone, but around eight at night, I found myself standing in the kitchen holding back tears because I was so tired. I was in bed by eight thirty while the party outside continued until the early morning.
Exhaustion has continued throughout my postpartum journey. Not all the time, of course, my girl is thankfully a good sleeper. But when she’s sick or going through a sleep regression (I hate you four-month sleep regression), she doesn’t sleep well, so we don’t sleep well.
Most recently, I was parenting solo all day and put together our Camping Dinner Party. We have been going through a bit of a sleep regression, and my husband had been away for work and then a bachelor party. I didn’t feel like I was contributing to the conversation until I was watching my friends furiously put up a tent. Still, the night was very fun, and I’m glad I did it.
Watching Our Daughter Grow at the Table
Now we are over a year into parenthood, and nearly a year into weekly dinner parties. Granted, we missed some weeks. Things get busy. But more often than not, we gathered around the table.
Our daughter went from lying in a bassinet beside the table, to on the ground on her play mat surrounded by toys. Now, she sits in her high chair beside us, sharing the same meal. Always ready for a cheers.
I hope that this tradition continues, and she can grow up with it. There are a lot of lessons I think she can learn through this tradition.
How good it feels to work hard to make a meal that all your friends and family enjoy.
And how good it feels not to have to make dinner one night of the week.
How important it is to make time for the people in your life.
And how important it is that they are willing to make time for you.
How to cook. Girl, you are learning how to cook.
Postpartum Presents
When I was freshly postpartum, my stomach was not on my side. I had a hard time eating. This was majorly disappointing as I had seen so many videos of women feasting on sushi boats after giving birth.
I wish.
Instead, what helped me through that first little bit was Fairelife Milk – with 30 grams of protein, and you can usually find it at Costco. Another Costco favourite was the Peanut Butter Pretzels. I kept the entire container on the table next to the chair I learned to breastfeed in, right beside the massive water bottle I also got from Costco. Breastfeeding thirst is unlike any other.
Smoothies also made the biggest difference. When I visited the lactation consultant (which, if you plan on breastfeeding and you can find one, get an appointment – it’s a game changer), she said cold foods were easier to eat, and make them as nutrient-dense as possible. Evive smoothie cubes can be an easy way to do that.
But when they are finally ready to eat that food they have been craving for nine months, make sure they get it.
Final Thoughts
Postpartum is hard. Find your people and surround yourself with them.
Stay connected.
You are still fun to be around, even if it feels like the only thing you have to contribute to the conversation is how your daughter finally pooped.
Did you start any traditions after having a baby? I’d love to hear about them!
